Our decision to "Go Dutch"

Making a move is a big decision—about 60% of Americans never leave the state they were born in, and only ~1.5–3% leave the country altogether (though that rate has been rising over the last decade). Resistance comes in lots of forms: family, friendships, property and careers built, culture, and just plain inertia. When we’ve told friends about our plans to leave the country and start a new life elsewhere, there’s been plenty of shock and surprise, but also a good deal of understanding.

I’ve decided to share details here for them, and for anyone else considering a move like this, in the hope it helps explain our choice and maybe informs yours. I’ll be documenting our (rapid) transition and linking resources along the way—so if you want to fuel more content, please consider commenting / sharing / subscribing 😄

Our Family

When I was little, I wanted to be a software entrepreneur, building cool products and sharing them. I wanted an "Adventure" family like I had growing up in Colorado, with lots of outdoor activities, skiing, camping, boating and enjoying the mountains. I wanted a beautiful and smart wife, a couple of independent, precocious and happy children, and our own home in a neighborhood with bikes in the lawns and neighbors who knew each other by name.

Thanks to luck and planning, I found a wonderful woman (Tegan) who wanted the same things, and in 2016 when our second daughter was born, we had achieved that dream. Living in Sunnyvale California, a vacation rental that we managed in Tahoe, and a 3 block walk to a wonderful public school where our kids could go. Tegan working able to work her dream career and be a mother, and me able to pursue my dream of being an enterpreneur.

Together we plotted a new vision, one where Lucy and AJ could grow up in a community that helped them feel accepted, enabled their success in life with reasonably priced college, the availability of career choices, and opportunities for them to pursue their own dreams.

The Push

One consistent element in stories about moving that we've read online is that the decision to start looking around was prefaced by a series of "pushes" to get out, discomforts with your current situation. We are no different here:

Future for our children: Even as Tegan and I were achieving the "American Dream", things were changing in the US that made us less certain that our children would have the chance and opportunity we wanted for them from where we were. It was already difficult to get into college on your own when we did so in the early '00s, Tegan was still paying off student loans, and I joined the Navy to escape that burden and have a chance at being able to purchase a home. Towards that, the prices to buy a home were high, and we wouldn't have had one even with good jobs that we got without access to the VA Loan and careful planning. Since then, the cost of attending college in the US has gone up almost 125% (more than 2x!), and the median price to buy a home nearly 150% (2.5x!). While we could possibly help here, it would be a large help, and Tegan and I both believe that being able to accomplish our dreams with little financial help from our families helped us be confident and happy in our success.

Healthcare: In 2023, things were going well with our career goals, Tegan had been working at Meta for a number of years and was doing well, so I was able to leave my corporate software job at Apple to pursue my indie software dreams. Both of us working full time and getting the kids to activities with the help of a part-time nanny. But in 2024 after a number of years of escalating symptoms, Tegan had a health crash and was diagnosed with ME/CFS (What's that?) a long term debilitating illness that has no known "cure" – leaving her unable to work, and in physical / mental crashes often for days or weeks that left her exhausted and unable to handle many normal tasks. While we had savings, and disability insurance, there were concerns that we could pay the bills of a growing software startup, keeping the lights on and family fed, as well as taking care of the costs of childcare as well as out of pocket insurance given her existing condition and the escalating costs of non-corporate insurance in the US. So I made the decision to pause my entrepreneurial work, and get back into the workforce so that we could have a steady paycheck as well as the necessary childcare support and health insurance.

Politics: A larger topic, but TL;DR, we've lost faith in the US Democratic system, and don't see its failings as being minor or temporary. Worry about lack of order, and increasing corruption is an ever-present anxiety and makes having a stable vision of the future impossible.

The Pull

So if we aren't happy or comfortable where we are, and are struggling to fit our plans and dreams for the future into where we are living, then where to go? After a lot of research we settled on The Netherlands, primarily:

1. Easy Transition: 90-97% of the dutch speak English, not being able to socialize with many of your neighbors can be quite isolating, and The Netherlands has one of the highest rates of English speakers in the EU, additionally Dutch is one of the easiest languages for an English speaker to learn.
2. Health Care: About $150 euros per month for top notch health care
3. Affordable College: College our kids can afford
4. Easy Visa: The DAFT (Dutch American Friendship Treaty, look it up) offers a very easy visa for US Citizens who want to start their own business (like me!), as well as immediate family re-unification (Tegan and the Kids) which is critical as I wouldn't be able to leave them behind to get established
5. Bike vs Car culture: Kids of all ages and adults bike everywhere, bike lanes are seem more common than roads, and public transit is fast and broad. Dutch Kids don't need nanny's to cart them from activity, to activity, to play date, it's quite common for kids of all ages to hop on their bike and take themselves. Tegan and I love the independence this offers.

godutch.us

I've created this website to document the learnings around our move, provide resources to those looking to make similar moves, and to have a central starting point for the US -> Netherlands Journey. We are moving March 16th, and still have lots to do, but I will try and make some time before, during and after the move to add more here. Subscribe / Comment to get notified as soon as new content is added.